My office romance turned into a marriage — here are 13 rules for dating a coworker
Laura Leslie Photography
I once dated a coworker.
Quick backstory: We didn't meet on the job — we were dating for almost four years before we started working together (which, by the way, wasn't planned … long story). But for about 11 months, we sat three cubes apart from one another and kept our relationship under wraps.
That's right: Nobody knew we were a couple.
"Nobody knew?!" "Wasn't it hard to hide?" "Isn't that illegal?"
Those are questions I'm frequently asked when I tell people the story of my office romance.
My answer to all three: "Nope — because we followed the rules."
The truth is, office romances are tricky and generally not recommended. But they happen all the time, and when they do, there are three possible outcomes: The relationship turns sour and your reputation and career take a beating; it ends, but you're both mature and cordial and don't let the breakup affect your work; or things work out.
A survey by CareerBuilder last year revealed that nearly 40% of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker, and almost one-third of office relationships result in marriage. (Remember that coworker I dated? We got married in October.)
It's up to you to figure out whether pursuing an office relationship is worth the possible consequences, good and bad. If you decide it is, there are a few "rules" you'll want to follow to ensure things don't go awry:
Shutterstock1. Take it slow.
My situation was unique because we were already a couple before we started working together — but generally that isn't the case, and Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job," suggests you try being friends in-and-outside the office before you make any moves.
People sometimes act differently at work than they do in their personal life. Before you risk hurting your reputation at work, find out if this person is someone you'd want to spend weekends with.
2. Know the formal policy.
Check the company handbook to find out if there are any policies related to interoffice relationships.
Even if there are no explicit policies against it, find out how upper management feels about office romances. If they're common and happen in your workplace all the time, great. If not, maybe that's something to consider.
3. Keep things quiet early on.
No need to send a blast email with "the news" of you and your cube-mate's new relationship. People either don't care, will think it's obnoxious or inappropriate, or will get jealous.
"Be discreet about the news," Taylor suggests. Once you have a sense that this might have a future, talk to your partner and decide how and when you want to disclose your relationships to your colleagues.
If the rumor mill goes into high gear, that might be the right time. If nobody seems to notice, there's no reason to share.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider