'My son was used as ammunition against me'

Despite a steady increase in domestic violence reports, abused men insist that figures do not reflect reality, as victims are ashamed to speak up, have no one to turn to, and are scared they will lose custody of children. For some, this nightmare turns into reality once they separate from their wife. Sarah Carabott reports. ‘I am mourning my child because of injustices in the justice system’ “What I am about to tell you is just the tip of the iceberg,” is the very first thing Peter* says. The man, who separated from his wife recently, lives in constant fear that he will lose total access to his 10-year-old son. “My heart bleeds as I feel that my child is slipping through my fingers. In a sense, I am preparing for the worst – I am already mourning him.” Peter feels that he has tried all he can to save his relationship with his son, but he has failed because the justice system is against him. The man suffered psychological and emotional abuse at the hands of his wife for years, but he did not want to leave the relationship for fear of losing his son. The abuse – including paying ‘rent’ to remain in the matrimonial home – increased until he could not take it anymore and he was...