8 questions to ask yourself before you start dating a coworker
Flickr / Brian Holland
We've all seen, experienced, or thought about office romances.
Some say they're a terrible idea (people might gossip, or things can get awkward at work if the relationship goes sour) — while others believe they make perfect sense (you're with these people eight hours a day, and you know you have at least one thing in common). But what's the real deal with interoffice dating?
Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job," says she hears this question all the time, and shared her thoughts on the topic with Business Insider.
"Modern thinking is that you spend so much time in the office and online that those are the most likely places you will meet Mr. or Ms. Right," says Taylor. "Occasionally you'll hear: the gym, supermarket, or Starbucks, because those may be the only other places you even have time to escape to outside the busy office these days."
But since about one-third of human life is spent working, it's not unreasonable that romances occur in the office, she adds. "And this is time spent with people we know — theoretically they're not ax murderers."
A survey from CareerBuilder revealed that nearly 40% of employees admitted to having a romantic relationship with a coworker, and almost one-third of office relationships result in marriage.
"Considering that there are some eight billion people on the planet, some question why anyone would choose an office mate for romance, with all the potential gossip, possibility of a job nightmare if things go south, terminations, and maybe even a lawsuit as icing on the cake," Taylor explains.
But the fact of the matter is: Nobody knows when true love will strike. "It could happen in the break room just as easily as it could at your cousin's wedding or at the tire store," Taylor says. "Why put arbitrary parameters on something so important? Certainly there are endless cases of coworkers who have found love in the workplace and moved on to marry and live happily ever after."
Ultimately, she says, the success of this path will depend on you, your partner, boss, workplace, and many other variables. And it's up to you to decide whether the pros outweigh the cons — or if you're better off steering clear of an office romance.
Before you flip the switch, here's what you need to ask yourself:
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1. Is this person in a direct supervisory or subordinate position?
If they are, stay away.
"Problems can result from dating a person in a subordinate or superior position," says Taylor.
If your boss (who happens to be your partner) takes you to lunch or promotes you, people will claim it's based on favoritism — not merit. (And it's also a problem if you deserve to be promoted but your significant other doesn't offer you the position because they fear people will think it's an act of favoritism.)
"Also, remember this: If things go sour in your relationship with a subordinate, there may a claim of sexual harassment or hostile work environment," she explains.
2. What is the company's policy on this?
"The variation on corporate practices is so broad that you have employers with lenient policies, strict policies, and no policies, even at Fortune 500-sized companies," Taylor says.
Some firms make a conscious choice not to incorporate them into their general "sexual harassment" policy. "Policy or no policy, love happens. So in the absence of written rules and/or in the interpretation of them, there's one common barometer: your common sense. That must always prevail."
3. How closely do I work with this person?
Keeping your distance in another department, floor, or building will help keep things less awkward, messy, and challenging. "And if you are ever in a competitive situation, it takes that element out of the fray, too," she adds.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider