Bleach Blonde Bad-Built Butch Body

Where do I even start with this one? I don’t like to explain my cartoons and if a cartoon has to be explained, then it doesn’t work. I’ve been accused by critics/morons that I write these blogs to explain the cartoons, but that’s not the purpose of the blogs. But this cartoon will be an […]

The post Bleach Blonde Bad-Built Butch Body appeared first on The Moderate Voice.

Where do I even start with this one?

I don’t like to explain my cartoons and if a cartoon has to be explained, then it doesn’t work. I’ve been accused by critics/morons that I write these blogs to explain the cartoons, but that’s not the purpose of the blogs. But this cartoon will be an exception because maybe not everyone is familiar with the Roast of Tom Brady. It did make news.

When I showed this cartoon to my proofers, the first reaction was excitement. She loved the cartoon and hadn’t seen the roast, but she still got it. The second reaction was total confusion. She asked, “Why is Gronk in the cartoon?” These two reactions will be what I get from readers for this one but for me, I think it’s worth doing for those who do get it. It also passed the it-made-me-laugh rule.

I am prepared for readers to look at this cartoon the same way a dog would look at a math book, which his head cocked to the side quizzically…or maybe like Marjorie Taylor Greene trying to figure out how a doorknob works.

There’s a roast of Tom Brady on Netflix. Have you seen it? If not, don’t bother. Kevin Hart hosted and he’s not funny. How is Kevin Hart in so many movies and commercials when you can’t find anyone who thinks he’s funny? Anyway, the roast isn’t really that good and it’s full of homophobia. If you still think gay jokes are funny like kids did back in the 80s, then you might enjoy the roast. It sucked (maybe it would have been funny if they had allowed Robert Kraft massage jokes) and ran way too long (over two hours), but the one bright spot in the entire show was Nikki Glaser. She killed.

Tight end Rob Gronkowski has an image of being a moron and to his credit, he laughs at the jokes at his expense. Glaser was roasting Brady about losing $30 million in crypto. She said, “Tom, how did you fall for that? I mean, even Gronk was like, ‘Me know that not real money.’” the place fell apart, Hart fell out of his chair, and the bit has been shared all over social media. It’s even in the trailer for the show.

Yesterday, there was another roast, but this one was not scheduled. The setting was a committee hearing in the House of Representatives over whether to find Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt for not handing over recordings of President Biden talking to Special Counsel Robert Hur, despite the fact they have the transcript of the conversation. Republicans want the recording so they can use it in campaign commercials.

The hearing was late in the day because several of the Republicans were in Manhattan kissing Donald Trump’s ass at his hush-money trial. And reportedly, a few of them had some cocktails during the journey back to DC.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, always the first to start a s–tshow, asked her Democratic colleagues, “I’d like to know if any Democrats on the committee are employing Judge [Juan] Merchan’s daughter?” This is based on some reports that the daughter of the judge presiding over Trump’s trial has worked for Democrats. MTG brought this up during the hearing despite the fact it’s not relevant to the trial or whether or not Merrick Garland should be held in contempt over some frothing-at-the-mouth GOP bullshit.

Democratic Representative Jasmine Crockett asked a logical question, “Please tell me what that has to do with Merrick Garland?” Of course, MTG does not do logic and replied, “I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading.” MTG lodged the first personal attack. In fact, she was the only one to make a personal attack if you understand context, which of course, Republicans don’t.

MTG believes she’s an intelligent person and her Dunning-Kruger ailment prevents her from seeing herself as the national embarrassment that she is.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said to Greene, “How dare you attack the physical appearance of another person?” Really. How dare MTG attack the appearance of anyone. She called MTG’s comments “disgusting” and “unacceptable.” They were also kinda racist.

MTG started taunting AOC, like a schoolyard bully would, asking if her “feelings were hurt.”

MTG agreed to have her insults stricken from the record but refused to apologize. The chairman of the committee, James Comer who’s been trying to impeach President Biden over other bogus bullshit, said MTG’s comments didn’t violate House rules.

Crockett asked Comer, “If someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody’s bleach blond, bad-built butch body, that would not be engaging in personalities, correct?”

Comer was confused by this while the minority chair, Jamie Raskin, struggled not to keel over with laughter. GOP member Anna Paulina Luna requested that Crockett’s comment be stricken from the record, proving Crockett’s point.

Crockett did not insult MTG directly. Her question was a hypothetical one to make a point. Naturally, the GOP members didn’t understand that. Another example of this could be, “Is it a personal attack to reference a skanky philandering stalkery Putin-loving racist antisemitic MAGAT ass-kissing beyotch who believes in Jewish space lasers?” With no names being mentioned, nobody could ever figure out who that description applies to.

Crockett said, “I’m trying to get clarification. Don’t tell me to calm down, because y’all talk noise and then you can’t take it, because if I come and talk shit about her, y’all gonna have a problem.”

Crockett is right. Republicans like MTG can dish it out but they can’t take it. MTG is out of her league when starting fights with Democratic women, especially women of color. People who live in ugly glass houses shouldn’t throw ugly glass stones. On another note, it’s usually difficult to draw attractive people, and I struggled to draw Rep. Crockett today. I did not struggle drawing Marjorie Taylor Greene.

MTG challenged AOC to a debate, which was declined. MTG claimed it was because AOC didn’t have the intelligence to debate her but the best reason not to argue with an idiot is because you’ll be arguing with an idiot, which President Biden will be doing in the near future.

Marjorie Taylor Greene pulls these shenanigans because it raises her money, which she’s much better at than legislating.

Speaker Mike Johnson scolded the members, saying, “When we disagree — even vehemently — we have got to treat one another with dignity and respect. I think it’s an important principle.” But you can’t argue about a lack of “respect” and “dignity” when just came directly from kissing Donald Trump’s ass or when you allow a low-brow mouth-breathing troglodyte like Marjorie Taylor Greene to sit on the House Oversight Committee.

Gronk might say, “Even me know that not good idea.”

Watch me draw:

Visit Clay Jones’ website and email him at Clay@claytoonz.com.

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