Precipice Of A New Reality
By Jim Koury
One early morning, I awakened from a dream in which I was running through a darkened hallway, loudly yelling, “Help me find my way back to my reality.” When I vividly remember a dream and a statement as powerful as the one I received, I know in my gut that a message from my subconscious is trying to break through. Well, it has!
I started to think about what I was yelling, and it began to make some semblance of sense to me after my initial reaction of, “What the fuck does that mean?” I began to think of this broad conceptual concept of “reality” and what it entails, and probably much more important is what it means for me. I venture to say that this further investigation of “reality” could uncover some truths from the deep recesses of my subconscious. Some truths that still await discovery could be rather painful to acknowledge and accept.
As we journey through life, many realities manifest and become who we are at that particular moment. I would not even hazard a guess as to the number of realities we experience! I will say, however, that life would not be life, nor would we learn the many lessons that we must learn if it were not for the rich tapestry of realities that we all adorn, unseen to everyone but us.
One of the most pronounced realities is experiencing the trauma related to the passage of time, during which periods of change are introduced into our conscious thought. The reality of time impinges on the worlds we know and in which a comfortable life balance exists. Alas, these comfortable periods must always end. The progression of time, in and of itself, induces change, whether we want it or not. How we react to the upheaval and turmoil will determine the path we should take in our personal growth and development.
The turmoil that swirls in the storms of change empowers us to move forward or backward, whichever the case may be. We must always strive to move forward with the storm and not retreat into a more secure time. Retreating and waving the white flag does no good in outwardly manifesting the inherent truths we all possess from the day we were born. Unfortunately, unearthing the truths of our reality is not an easy task. It can be frustratingly onerous at times and can create intense fear.
I am on the precipice of a new reality, and it is a rather scary scenario for me, as it is one I have never experienced. Yet, simultaneously, I feel cautiously optimistic and ready to embrace the new world that lies before me, yet unseen. The reality of losing one’s parents becomes increasingly possible in our consciousness, and it is one that we all obsess over to a great degree. These two significant people have influenced my life since returning to my hometown in 1992.
Sadly, the reality that comes to us has now happened to me. My mom died in 2020, and my father recently crossed over in December. I now face the reality that I always knew would come. I have begun to experience life without the two people who have immeasurably influenced me, good and bad, and whom I have come to understand more keenly. Though painful, the resolution and acceptance of this new reality are now underway and will always create sorrow and melancholy memories.
What is before me for the next few months is a daunting scenario—settling my parents’ estate, selling a life’s worth of belongings, and sifting through the memories and memorabilia that will jar intense feelings within. I also will be faced with selling my home and financing my family home to reside there. Lots to think about. Lots to do. Lots of stressful moments, I am sure, await me.
After the dust settles, however, my new reality will be in front of me, on full display. It will be a whole new paradigm of thought, with myself at the center of focus instead of the two aged people I thought and worried about and cared for, as well as deferred things for myself to satisfy their obligations.
Do I have any regrets? Indeed not, as it is what children do after one’s parents sacrifice much and go without so their kids can have what they need. I laugh when I hear heirs say, “I deserve what I am owed.” What exactly is it that one is “owed?” In light of everything our parents did for us, we owe THEM, not vice versa. When you think about it more in-depth, children are owed nothing.
Despite such agonizing moments in our lives, we must endure and press forward, as it is our destiny to arrive at new precipices and storms of change to arrive at our ultimate reality. Our ultimate reality is that point in our lives where we are most happy and content, living our inherent truths fully, without fear, and free from the shackles of a society incessantly trying to contain us. True liberation of mind and spirit defines our ultimate reality. Never stop striving to embrace the power of your ultimate reality, for its fulfillment is our destiny. Do not die with your destiny still buried inside. Your life purpose awaits you. Find your way back to your ultimate reality!
Jim is the author of two books, Unredacted and Soul Journey, and also publishes an online publication, Diversity Rules Magazine. He resides in Upstate New York in the city where he was born, with his dog Lina and cat Critter.