The 8 biggest differences between dating in Japan and America

AP

• Group dating is common until two people in the group establish that they want to get serious.
• Declaring your love isn't jumping the gun — it's establishing that you're serious about starting a relationship.
• Professional matchmaking is making a comeback among busy Japanese people who don't have time for dating.
• If you're a non-Japanese person who is dating a Japanese person, don't assume that everything is a cultural difference. Some things are personality quirks, not cultural ones.

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Let's face it: Dating is hard everywhere. Everyone who has ever dated anyone has their own tales of woe just the cultural differences that vary from place to place. If you have a mixed-culture group of friends where you live, you may already have witnessed the tip of this particular iceberg.

This is by no means a comprehensive guide, but here are some of the things you might experience on the dating scene in Japan.

Group dating is common

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It's not uncommon in America to do things as a group of friends. Maybe you'll go see a movie, grab a bite to eat, go to a party — the potential list is endless. But most Americans go on a date in pairs rather than groups.

In Japan, group dating — or goukon — commonly happens first. It's a way to gauge mutual interest and suitability, as well as mix with a potential partner's friends.

You might think that this sounds low-pressure compared with American dating customs. But there's still plenty to stress about.

"Lots of young people don't really date because it can be expensive (for guys) and stressful — the women I know always worried so much about what kind of outfit to wear because it would affect the 'type' their date assumed them to be. Everything has a label here- there are so many different 'types' of men and women, girls and boys," Beth Daniels — an American who has lived and worked in Japan for several years — told INSIDER.

Declarations of love can come quite early

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The practice of kokuhaku (confession of love and/or interest) often starts the Japanese dating process. This makes things simpler in a lot of ways according to Yumi Nakata of GaijinPot. Nakata was born and raised in Japan, and then moved to the US for school.

According to Nakata, with kokuhaku, you're not left wondering if someone is interested in you as a love prospect. Both men and women can be the first one to make a move, and you'll get an answer about whether your would-be object of affection is interested in you very quickly.

Public displays of affection may be common in the US, but not in Japan

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"On my first date with my 'ex' we obviously clicked so I expected at least a little kiss at the station before we went our separate ways, but all I got was a stiff hug," Jen McIntosh, an American studying in Japan, told The Japan Times.

"I analyzed it to death and a friend who had been in a relationship with a Japanese man for three years told me that I was lucky to get a hug in a public place. I wasn't expecting to make out in front of everyone, but I did get irritated when he would never hold my hand or touch my knee on the train."

See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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