Field Report: Give me Colored Sheets, or Give Me Conformity!

Everybody asks, "Why colored sheets?" Nobody asks, "How colored sheets?"

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 SPY agents, tasked with intercepting communications between in-the-know assets and engaging in constant cultural reconnaissance, regularly file reports on new and meaningful trends. Some of the trends they monitor will change how we live. Field Report captures those early leads to keep you informed on what might be the next big thing.

Our agents have been looking through the homes of some of New York’s most stylish and noticing an often controversial trend: colored bedding. Hinge accounts across the country plead with men. “All I ask is that you don’t have colored sheets,” explains one user from Montclair. Another who recently moved to Silver Lake describes “navy sheets” as the ultimate red flag. Swipeworld is full of gatekeepers, a ponytailed subset of whom seem bent of gatekeeping colored sheets. It is bizarre.

But it also makes some sense.

Navy bed sheets and the dreaded “‘t-shirt sheets” are traditionally picked up at a local Marshall’s or HomeGoods then installed over a Twin XL bed in a freshman dorm room. That’s the use case and probably why Bethany has specific and profound sense memories. But what they are really reacting to is that “college bedding” generally goes unwashed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having colored sheets if you regularly do laundry. And if you don’t regularly do laundry, colored sheets are likely the least of your problems. 

In fact, colored sheets are great. In the world of rental apartments, it can be daunting to paint a new place. For many, the first day of access to the apartment is also the day you have to move all your things into it, which means the “Landlord Creme” shade of white on the walls is going to stay. Don’t pair that with more white sheets. That’s institutional.

Introduce a color. What tops a top sheet? A green top sheet.

And, for the record, dark colors to cover up would-be stains or marks aren’t advisable. But it’s not all pastels. Find bold colors that work with the rest of the decor in the room. Find something that complements the hardwood floors, or the black lamp in the room. Colors that bring joy: burnt siena, indigo, and chambray. The best options tend to be deeply saturated, but sit more in the middle of the spectrum, as darker tones look like you’re covering something up, and lighter ones suggest that you’re the kind of person with nothing to cover up, which is off-putting in its own way.

Of the people embracing the colored sheet wave, a subset are saving a good amount of money by purchasing flax linen sheets. Low-thread-count flax linen sheets have a European flair, but don’t cost much. They represent a great place to start, no matter what Lauren says…