England 3 Germany 3: Three Lions FINALLY show up with goal blitz in stunning comeback before another blunder costs win
SO it turns out that England can still score after all – but they sure as hell can toss them away too.
During a six-goal second half of merry bedlam, Gareth Southgate was facing the nightmare scenario of his firm favourite Harry Maguire gifting victory to Germany.
Then after an extraordinary England comeback, which saw Luke Shaw, Mason Mount and Harry Kane all score within 12 minutes, an almighty howler from keeper Nick Pope extended his side’s winless run to six matches.
So how are you feeling about England’s World Cup prospects after that little lot?
England hadn’t scored in open play for 521 minutes until that late flood of goals, including a pearler from Mount.
But that came after Maguire – the man Southgate staked his reputation upon, despite a huge public outcry – had lost possession, was nutmegged and conceded a penalty in a sequence of slow-motion slapstick which handed Germany their opener.
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Contrary to popular belief, though, Southgate doesn’t always stay stubbornly loyal to his supposed favourites.
Mount had been labelled his ‘teacher’s pet’ for a long stretch but had been left on the bench for England’s last two fixtures – seemingly out of Southgate’s likely starting line-up in Qatar.
Yet the Chelsea man’s stunning England equaliser saved Southgate’s bacon before Kane’s penalty gave them a late lead.
Even then, though, there was an even later twist as Pope spilled a routine shot from Serge Gnabry to gift Kai Havertz his second of the night and leave England ultimately frustrated.
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Basically we came into this game worrying about England’s lack of goals and ended it worrying about their shoddy defence.
Still, ater a largely dismal Nations League campaign, at least this second half provided rollicking entertainment.
Southgate had suggested before this double-header that he would limit experimentation and rotation and he was good to his world.
He stuck with his 5-2-3 formation and made just two changes from Friday’s defeat in Italy – John Stones returning from a ban in place of Kyle Walker and Luke Shaw replacing Bukayo Saka at left wing-back.
Jordan Pickford will return from injury before the World Cup but this starting line-up might look very similar to the one which faces Iran in the tournament opener.
Pope – clearly Southgate’s No 2 ahead of Aaron Ramsdale – is notoriously dodgy with the ball at his feet.
And early on he had an attempted clearance charged down by Jamal Musiala, allowing Ilkay Gundogan a sight on goal – the Manchester City man shooting narrowly over.
England weirdly decked out in an illuminous orange kit, as if they were heading for a night shift on the roads, did show some early shows of intent from England – Phil Foden showing still, Stones bringing the ball out of defence in Barnsley Beckenbauer mode.
But then Stones and Pope got in a tangle, faffing around in the box, and midway through the first half a Wembley full house had descended into near-silence.
It was a far cry from the raucous Sweet Caroline day here last summer when the Germans were banished from the Euros.
Suddenly, though, England woke up – for the first time, pretty much, since March.
Sterling darted onto an excellent through-ball from Shaw, turned Nico Schlotterbeck inside out but saw his shot well saved by the advancing Marc-Andre ter Stegen.
Foden then duffed a centre when Kane was begging for it six yards out – and the England skipper soon volleyed wide across goal.
Stones was forced to limp off on 37 minutes with what looked like a hamstring problem, Walker coming on as Southgate stuck with the tried-and-tested.
Sterling had a sharp exchange of passes with Kane but shot straight at ter Stegen – but Josh Kimmich drilled just wide to end a subdued half which the Germans shaded.
Whatever Southgate said at half-time must have gone down like a lead balloon because England started the second period catastrophically.
Dier squared to Maguire on the edge of his own box but the United skipper was robbed by Musiala, who then destroyed him.
While ref Danny Makkelie did not spot Maguire’s trip, believing Musiala had dived, his VAR sent him to his monitor and he inevitably pointed to the spot.
Gundogan side-footed into the corner, as if the Germans would ever miss a penalty against England.
Soon, it got even worse. Dier fell over in his own penalty, presenting Germany with a great opportunity – luckily, though, it was Timo Werner and he wasted it.
Musiala then filleted Maguire, who fell over, and fed Werner, who did what he does and shot wide across goal.
Maguire, seemingly hell-bent on atonement, charged upfield but lost possession to his nemesis Musiala – a former England Under-21 international.
Germany broke and when Werner squared a pass, Havertz bent a beauty into the far corner from 20 yards.
England began their comeback with a slick passing move which ended with Shaw’s effort narrowly crossing the line despite an effort from Niklas Sule to hack it clear.
Then Bukayo Saka, who had recently arrived off the bench along with Mount, showed wonderful feet to tee up his fellow sub for a blistering first-time finish.
Schlotterbeck then fouled Bellingham – another offence only spotted by VAR – and Kane thumped in the spot-kick.
But then Pope, certainly not infallible, had his moment of madness – and Southgate had travelled from despair, to ecstasy to utter confusion in the space of 20 minutes.