Marin youth tapped as mentors to ease social isolation
About 40 students participated in the four-day leadership retreat coordinated by the Marin-based nonprofit Beyond Differences.
On Friday, Harita Kavai volunteered to read a poem before a group of youth selected to participate in a leadership retreat.
The 17-year-old at Terra Linda High School student spoke softly and read slowly from the white notebook unfolded in her hands.
“This is for the girls,” she said. “This is for every girl. Because every girl deserves to be seen.”
Kavai was one of about 40 students who participated in a four-day leadership retreat coordinated by the Marin-based nonprofit Beyond Differences. The four-day event aimed to prepare teens and young adults to face their own feelings of social isolation so that they may act as mentors to other youths experiencing similar feelings of disconnection.
“Everyone has a story and everyone’s identity belongs to them,” said Laura Talmus, co-founder and executive director of Beyond Differences. “That deserves to be celebrated and that deserves to be respected and accepted.”
Kavai’s poem addressed a litany of issues: class, wealth, gender, identity and bullying. The daughter of Indian immigrants and neurodivergent, Kavai expressed how the disconnection she once felt with her peers had transformed into a determination to inspire others.
“I learned there’s a lot of people who have experienced the same things that I do,” she said. “It’s all starting to make sense.”
The group of students raised their hands in the air and snapped their fingers enthusiastically as she finished. Each of them was specially selected for their unique backgrounds and their professed passion to act as mentors to other youth in their communities. All spoke on topics such as intersectionality and social acceptance. There was a shared sense of camaraderie and respect that pervaded each of their statements.
“After this, they return to Marin to uplift other kids,” said Sally Matsuishi, director of national youth programs for Beyond Differences.
Seventeen-year-old Angel Gomez of San Rafael said he was liberated by the ability to express himself among other like-minded youth. The son of two immigrant parents from Mexico, Gomez said he struggled with ADHD and substance abuse in his youth.
“They didn’t have the time nor the effort to figure out what I have,” he said. “Ever since then, I wanted to teach kids my age.”
Nury Calderon, 16, of San Rafael, grew up in a low-income family in Marin. She said she had responsibilities at home that made her feel as if she missed the innocence of a normal childhood.
“No one else has a story like mine and I’ve been able to teach people,” she said. “I can comfort people when they come talk to me. But it also means the ability to be comfortable in my own skin, and not just comfortable, but proud of it.”
The nonprofit was founded in 2010 to recognize the memory of Talmus’ daughter, Lili Rachel Smith. Smith was born in 1994 with craniofacial syndrome and grew up struggling with social isolation.
The experience was often heartbreaking for Talmus, who said she saw Smith recede from her identity as she grew older.
Smith died in 2009 as a result of the syndrome and a group of students petitioned Talmus to start an organization where feelings of social isolation could be addressed and remedied.
Talmus said each of the students in the retreat would film a short video describing their experience and story. Those videos would be publicly available for teachers or educators who might show them to a student struggling with similar issues, she said.
The youth leaders will also be tapped to participate in activities where they can provide advice or guidance to middle-school aged youth throughout the country.
“It is the kids themselves that know other youth, the ones that are usually disconnected and drifting further and further away,” Talmus said. “So much of what has to happen is that teachers need to recognize signs of social isolation and students need to be trained.”