The Six Best Jokes From Taylor Tomlinson’s ‘Prodigal Daughter’ Special
Taylor Tomlinson is back with a new Netflix comedy special, ‘Prodigal Daughter’, full of religious humor and stories about being a bi-sexual. Check out the six best bits from the special, below!
1. Chreaster Preachers
I do feel for pastors on Christmas and Easter. Those are big weeks at church, right?. Those are recruitment weeks. That’s when everybody comes out of the woodwork. That’s when the decaf Christians swing by. You only see those motherf*ckers twice a year and you got to blow their minds so hard with the extras that they upgrade their subscription to weekly.
That’s a lot of pressure.
And as the pastor on Christmas and Easter, you can’t get creative. You can’t get weird with it. No acoustic set. You have to play the hits. You gotta tell the stories, right?
Easter’s a better story than Christmas, in my opinion. If you don’t know, Easter is the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It’s where all our merch is from. You’ve seen it. You’ve seen a dead guy up there, but tasteful. Somehow very tasteful.
Makes you think about your own death, like, ‘Ooh, hope I die in a way that looks good on jewelry, right’?
Think about it. When grandma died, were you like, ‘Slap her on an anklet’?
No. He’s really doing it up there.
2. Uncle Jim
3. Easter at Edward’s
But Easter is a great story.
There’s a lot of action, right? It’s the crucifixion, the resurrection. It’s Jesus in his prime, early 30s, ripped.
We betrayed him. We killed him. He’s back.
It’s basically Twilight.
It’s a sexy, sexy story. I’m just kidding.
Twilight belongs to the Mormons. Don’t take that from them, okay? They can’t have caffeine. They need something to keep them alert.
4. ‘Praying For You’
5. A Sure Thing
And to be clear, I’m not an atheist. I just don’t know what happens. Neither do you. Spoiler alert, nobody knows.
I’ve never related to the certainty so many Christians feel where they’re like, ‘I just know’. You’re like, ‘But how do you know there’s a God’?
‘I just know’.
The only time I’ve ever just known something, it was that I had diarrhea.
That’s the only—the only time I’ve ever been like, ‘Oh Mhm, mhm’.
And I did start praying.