If It Feels Toxic, It’s Not Love (And They’re NOT Your Soulmate)
They’re not really your soulmate if they only treat you well on certain days, then make your world a waking nightmare the rest of the time. You shouldn’t have to guess which version of your person is going to appear that day. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid setting them off. You should be able to let down your guard around them and be your real self, without fear of being judged, and certainly not fear of being reprimanded. The right person will make you feel comfortable around them. They will feel like home. All of the time, not only some of it.
They’re not really your soulmate if they’re expecting you to do significantly more for them than they’re willing to do for you. Your relationship is meant to be equal. You’re meant to act as teammates who are in this thing together. Your partner should be giving the same amount that they are receiving. They shouldn’t be taking and taking from you with no intention of returning the favor. They shouldn’t make you feel like they’re owed time or attention or physical affection, especially when they aren’t giving you a breadcrumb in return.
They’re not really your soulmate if they’re bringing out your worst insecurities. Self-love starts and ends with you, but they shouldn’t be making your doubts worse by comparing you to exes or celebrities. They shouldn’t be pitting you against other people. They shouldn’t be intentionally causing jealousy so you realize how ‘good you have it’ with them. Your person should make you feel even more beautiful. They should be spoiling you with compliments and raising your confidence, not stomping it into the ground.
They’re not really your soulmate if they’re unsupportive of your dreams. The right person won’t talk you out of pursuing what your heart wants. They won’t convince you that you don’t have what it takes to succeed, or try to tether you in place so they can control you better. They will help you out, along every step of the way. They will be your biggest supporter and will hype you up whenever your doubts start to creep in. They will chase away your fears, not instill new ones.
They’re not really your soulmate if they’re unappreciative. The least they can do is muster up a thank you when you go above and beyond to please them. They could at least recognize all the hard work that you have been putting into the relationship. It’s not that hard to say that they appreciate you. The right person will never stop reminding you how glad they are to have you in their world, and they will make an effort to show you through their actions too. Talk isn’t enough for them. They want you to feel the love too. They want you to know they’re willing to put in the work too.
They’re not really your soulmate if the love feels toxic. If they’re causing you more teardrops than laughing fits. Although you might love them dearly, although the thought of leaving them behind might feel worse than the pain of withstanding the torture they keep putting you through, you have to choose yourself. You have to walk away if they aren’t giving you what you deserve. You owe them nothing. But you owe yourself everything.