2 Love Lessons You’ll Learn From A Bare Minimum Man

It isn’t until the relationship ends that you see it for what it really was: the bare minimum.

At first, you will feel ashamed for accepting so little from him. You will feel ashamed for taking the crumbs he gave and believing it kept you full. Now, you are coming to the gutted realization of how starved you are. And finally, you are free to find a love that will fill you better.

You will feel hurt that you weren’t given more. You might even feel sorry for yourself for not noticing or for not asking for your needs to be met. But you might also start to feel a bit empowered: now you recognize how much more you deserve and how you won’t settle for anything less in the future.

With all that being said, these are some love lessons you will learn from a bare minimum man:

“I am no longer allowing myself to be small and quiet.”

When you’re with a bare minimum man, you might not realize how much you shrink in order to make space for them. You do this because you fear that you and your needs might be too much. You kept yourself small and quiet, never asking for your needs to be met, out of fear of rejection or abandonment. The thing is, by doing this, you are ultimately rejecting and abandoning yourself. Self-abandonment is a coping mechanism stemming from low self-esteem, self-doubt, anxiety, trauma, and a desire to please others.

But now that you’re out of the relationship and you recognize these behaviors, you are making changes. You are now able to go into relationships with a different mindset: I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to have a voice. I deserve more than what I’ve been given.

“I know my worth.”

Bare minimum men know how to keep you invested, with their emotionally distant and avoidant behaviors. The way they treated you was merely a reflection of them and how they lacked the ability to love and respect you in the way you deserve.

Being with someone who puts little to no effort into the relationship can really make you start to doubt yourself and your worth. Did I do something wrong to deserve this? Am I enough?

Now that you’re out of the relationship, you finally have the space to realize how little they gave you and how much more you deserve. You recognize your worth and won’t tolerate mistreatment, disrespect, or half-assed effort. And you especially won’t allow a bare minimum man to be in control of the way you perceive yourself.

Say these affirmations to yourself, out loud, as many times as you need:

I am allowed to take up space.

I am allowed to have a voice.

I deserve more than what I’ve been given.

I am loved.

I am enough.