50 ways to beat the Article 50 blues
Amid howls of anguish from the metropolitan elite, Theresa May’s letter triggering Article 50 finally found its way from Downing Street to Brussels this week, meaning we have just 728 days left as part of the EU. “Brexmas” is not a happy time for everyone: London voted to remain in the EU by a 59 per cent majority last June, after all. But there are plenty of reasons to be cheerful. We promise.
The sun is (more or less) shining, the birds are chirping, and London is ready to accentuate the positive again.
Here are 50 ways to beat the Article 50 blues:
The first day of the rest of our lives
Let’s take this one day at a time, and today is a pretty strong starter: (1) It’s Friday. It’s the start of spring. It’s payday. Outside drinking is on.
Happy holidays
You’ve earned a break. By strategising your annual leave, just (2) nine days taken between April 13 and May 2 gives you another nine days holiday for free.
Eat your (wonky) veg
From straight bananas to crooked carrots, (3) no more EU marketing standards means we have fruit and veg with character. Less food waste is a bonus too.
Toast of the isles
We’ve taken back power — literally — from the EU, meaning we can pimp our (4) hairdryers, (5) toasters, (6) vacuums. Suck on that, Brussels.
Cry wolf
Need a hero? (7) Logan, starring Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, is in cinemas this weekend. It’s his last hurrah in the role but that just means (8) a New Jackman.
Continental breakfasts, lunches and dinners
London’s restaurants are open. (9) Mere, David and Monica Galetti’s new restaurant in Fitzrovia, where the Samoan-born New Zealander — an alumnus of Le Gavroche — and her dishes of grilled octopus with mushroom and Marmite is hard evidence. Other new favourites include (10) Indian tapas from Kricket, (11) tenderstem broccoli pizza from Yard Sale (12) Popolo’s panna cotta and (13) pretty much everything from Hawker House.
Fool’s paradise
Brexit’s off! Just kidding. But there’s plenty of mischief to be made on April 1. (14) A Pygmy Hippo Petting Zoo serving hippo bacon burgers in Waterloo, anyone?
Political animals
The UK has its independence. (15) That means less airtime for Ukip and Paul Nuttall.
Save our soles
Trainer tarifs are set to plummet. (16) Indulge your sneaker fetish with mountains of New Balances, adidas and Nike Air Max.
Drown your sorrows
Leaving the European Union will allow manufacturers to bring forward a (17) new generation of hangover-free drinks, think-tank the Adam Smith Institute has said.
Greener pastures
The grass is always greener on the other side (18) but the bluebells are out in force at Kew Gardens, which comes into its own in the spring, while a (19) Moomin trail around the garden is great for the kids over the Easter hols.
Only human
Yuval Noah Harari’s (20) Homo Deus is out in paperback. Read it to know your place in the world.
Hours ahead
Fewer regulations means (21) more flexible working hours for employers. A rise in 4pm finishes? Raise a pint to that, Nigel.
Wild things
Hibernation is over. (22) Spot hedgehogs in your gardens. And possibly the odd Remain voter.
Spellbound
Harry Potter Studios has just opened its (23) Forbidden Forest, where Pottermaniacs can indulge their Hogwarts fantasies
Music to our ears
Grab tickets to (24) Stormzy, who plays Brixton’s O2 in May.
Dacre Montgomery
(25) Watch this face in the new Power Rangers movie (and get ready to see more of it in the second series of Stranger Things this autumn).
Soft Eggsit
Easter is on April 16, as signified by the teetering piles of (26) chocolate eggs in supermarkets. Get stuffed.
Glorious mud
Festival season is nearly upon us, which means Frank Ocean is coming to E3 (27) (thanks, Lovebox). See also: (28) Sunfall and (29) Citadel. The luckiest among us can still bag a ticket for (30) Glastonbury in the resale ballot which takes place next month. And, even better, this year there won’t be an EU referendum to kill your cider-fuelled buzz at Worthy Farm.
Speaking of Somerset...
Tickets for the (31) Summer Series of gigs at Somerset House have just gone on sale. Lift your spirits by seeing Warpaint, Songhoy Blues, Tom Misch or Mashrou Leila in the glorious urban outdoors.
Fit not sad
Britain needs to be leaner to face new challenges in a post-Brexit economy. (32) Thankfully, Barry’s Bootcamp is opening its third branch in Queensway next month, while south of the river is getting its own branch of Boom Cycle with a new studio in Battersea.
Becks appeal
Victoria Beckham (33) is the latest passenger in James Corden’s karaoke-mobile. Nothing rouses the spirits quite like a rowdy chorus of Say You’ll Be There.
Frame academies
This weekend, dip into (34) America After the Fall at the Royal Academy’s exhibition, showing art from the 1930s, a traumatic period in America’s history which inspired some of the country’s most revered paintings, including American Gothic. A reminder that every cloud...
Arts and minds
It’s a great season for culture in the capital. The Royal Academy’s Summer Exhibition (35) will be a first chance to see how Brexit has inspired artists working in the UK. Tate Britain’s Hockney exhibition (36) runs until the end of May, with a series of midnight openings (The Big Splash plus booze is ideal date fodder). And over at Tate Modern, (37) Soul of a Nation: Art in the Age of Black Power will examine what it meant to be an artist during the birth of the US Civil Rights movement.
Medal detectors
It’s estimated that more than half of footballers in the English Premier League will need work permits under post-Brexit regulations. This means that we can expect a far greater supply of (38) home-grown players like Dele Alli, the kind who can play for our national sides. (39) England will therefore without doubt win the World Cup at some point in the next decade. (40) And every other cup too.
Scandi style
We are going out into the world. This means we have to look good. H&M is launching a new high-street store, Arket, which will boast lots of achingly cool (41) Scandi clothes.
Staycations
Forget Europe. You don’t need it. Britain is beautiful, so head out for walking weekends in the (42) Lake District and rest cures in (43) Margate.
British boozing
Still not cheered up? English wine and fizz is exceptional (Nyetimber all round), but the return of the booze cruise (44) is a great British pastime to be celebrated. See you in Calais.
Spice up your life
Employment minister Priti Patel said pre-referendum that a vote to Remain would put the (45) future of curry at risk in the UK, with between three and five curry houses closing every week due to EU regulations on visa restrictions. We did it for you, vindaloo.
And relax...
No more (46) Brexit Bus. No more (47) Bob Geldof and his Thames flotilla. No more (48) Jeremy Corbyn in a fur coat getting out of a sports car. No more (49) Ken Livingstone locking himself in a toilet. No more (50) referendums...right?
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50 Shades of Yay!
Spring has arrived in the capital, Victoria Beckham is in the hotseat of Carpool Karaoke, and the Great British booze cruise is back on the agenda. Samuel Fishwick calls time on Article 50 blues
50 ways to beat the Article 50 bluesGalleryPublishedMedium width2Friday, March 31, 2017 - 12:08OnEnable video endboarddefaultFriday, March 31, 2017 - 11:30Greater LondonGBKey Points