Colombia rebels: Laying down guns to embrace roles as mothers

They have seen bloodshed and death in Colombia's jungles but for some women rebel fighters, the greatest pain was being forced to abandon their children.

Wearing green combat fatigues, Rosmira, 29, sits with a group of her sisters-in-arms at a secret mountain camp, where AFP was exceptionally granted access by commanders of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC).

In a half-century-long conflict that has left countless orphans and widows, these are a lesser-known group -- women who chose to become mothers without laying down their arms.

Forced night marches have left bags under Rosmira's eyes which she tries to hide with makeup. Trained as a soldier from the age of 11, she has a harrowing gaze.

But her voice is surprisingly soft as she tells her story, sitting in the camp in the northwestern region of Magdalena Medio.

"When I handed over my daughter, I felt like I had lost half of myself," she said.

Although the FARC has admitted that children have served in its ranks, it has a strict rule against warriors raising their own children in the combat zone.

Rosmira and her partner knew that, but wanted to have a child anyway, even though they are both fighters enlisted to the Marxist rebels' cause.

"I thought about it a lot before having the child because I always knew I would have to be separated from it due to our circumstances," she said.

- Permission to be parent -

The Colombian government, citing testimonies from FARC deserters, accuses the group of overseeing the rape of female recruits and forced abortions.

The FARC says it allows abortions as a "last resort." The procedure is illegal in most cases in Colombia.

But Rosmira and some of her companions say they were in consensual relationships and chose to become mothers, even though they knew their commanders would insist the children be sent away.

"We asked for permission and the high command accepted. And I had a daughter," Rosmira said of herself and her partner.

That was three years ago. Rosmira cared for the baby for two months but then had to return to the front where the FARC maintains an armed confrontation with the Colombian government.

Her daughter is being raised by relatives of the father, from whom Rosmira recently separated. She sees the girl from to time -- and now hopes the visits will be become more regular.

Now that the FARC is aiming to sign a peace deal with the government, mothers like Rosmira are hoping to be able to travel to see their children without fear of being captured or killed.

Manuela, 25, has an eight-year-old daughter whom she hasn't seen for a year. When she does see her, the girl complains about her mother's long absences.

With a glimpse of possible peace, Manuela is now planning for a more normal life. She wants to become a dentist and be with her daughter.

"You want your children not to look at you with fear and mistrust for being a warrior."

- Loving arms -

The FARC and the government hope to sign a deal on March 23.

What started in the mid-1960s as a peasant uprising against the government, and ground on for decades between various armed groups, could nearly be over.

Lingering disagreements over disarmament and other points in the negotiations still risk delaying the accord, however.

Colombia's half-century conflict has killed 260,000 people and displaced 6.6 million, according to the United Nations.

The Colombian Reintegration Agency, a body that works with demobilized fighters, estimates that nearly half of combatants in the conflict who lay down their arms have children.

For the past seven months, a ceasefire has held as peace talks hosted in Cuba have advanced.

That has enabled female warriors to visit their children, and some combatants to receive visits from their own mothers.

Lidia Rosa Rojo, 55, made the most of the lull in fighting to travel to the camp where her son was serving and embrace him.

Three of her other children have been killed fighting in the conflict, she said.

"All I hope for from the peace accords is that some day my son will be free so I can see him regularly."