I started going to raves alone at 35. I learned so much about myself by doing so.

• I'd backpacked Southeast Asia solo, but couldn't bring myself to go to a rave without a buddy.
• At my first solo festival in Germany, I found a group of strangers in their 30s who felt like friends.
• A year of solo raving across Europe broke co-dependency habits I didn't even know I had.

After 10 years of solo travel, I thought I knew how to be alone.

I had visited 45 countries, navigated public transportation in different languages, eaten many solo dinners, and had to problem-solve all by myself.

But I realized my independence had limits.

I was only comfortable being alone in environments I could control. In the months following a breakup, I noticed I had stopped going to raves. Not because I'd fallen out of love with electronic music, but because I no longer had my built-in dance buddy.

I faced my fears

I would never skip a trip just because no one could join me, but I couldn't bring myself to go to a rave alone. I decided it was time to face this fear. I didn't want to miss out on things like Fusion Festival in Germany or Berlin's club scene just because I was by myself.

If I could handle backpacking alone in Southeast Asia and even losing my passport twice, I could handle going to a rave by myself.

Even after convincing myself to try solo raving, another worry crept in. I had just turned 35, and my age made me feel even more uneasy.

Even with all the doubts and worries about what others might think, I chose to move past the fear. My new mantra became, "Who cares if I'm the oldest person on the dancefloor? Someone has to show the younger generation how it's done."

I went to the Fusion Festival in Germany alone

My first stop on my solo festival adventure? Fusion Festival in Germany. And honestly, I couldn't have picked a more perfect festival. After getting off the shuttle bus from Berlin, a series of fortunate events unfolded that gave me the best experience I could have asked for.

It began when I worked up the courage to ask a girl for directions. She was also at Fusion Festival alone, looking for her friends who had arrived earlier.

We instantly clicked. When we eventually found her friends, everyone was so friendly and welcoming. It felt like I was hanging out with a group of friends I had known for years, not mere hours.

The best part? All of them were in their 30s and 40s.

After that, I went to a warehouse rave in Paris and a 24-hour festival in the Spanish desert. This time, I didn't make any friends and spent the whole night alone, which I had always feared. I thought I'd be bored or that people would notice, but the opposite was true.

I realized no one cared that I was alone, and soon, neither did I. I danced until my feet hurt. I didn't have to worry about anyone else being bored, so I could just follow my own energy.

The night belonged to me.

Solo raving rebuilt my self-confidence

A year of solo raving across Europe helped me break co-dependency habits I didn't know I had. It proved I can do hard things and don't always need a partner or friend with me.

Most importantly, it helped me reconnect with myself and challenge the voice in my head saying I'm "too old" for rave culture. The dance floor doesn't care about age. It only cares about your presence, energy, and excitement.

At 35, going to raves alone made me braver and more honest. It taught me not to hide my joy just to fit into an idea of adulthood I don't want, and shone a light on where I was letting others hold me back.