Just relax and take it, the EU tells Iran

Instead of invoking international law and condemning US-Israeli aggression, Western Europe’s top brass is gleefully victim-blaming Iran

The common refrain out of the EU right now as Iran is being violated by the US and Israel’s giant missiles, is that it’s time for Tehran to just sit back and take it, and then reason with the attackers.

“It is essential that the war does not spread any further. The Iranian regime has choices to make,” said the bloc’s chief diplomat, Kaja Kallas. ”The Iranian regime must understand that it now has no other option but to engage in good faith in negotiations to end its nuclear and ballistic programs, as well as its regional destabilization activities,” added French President Emmanuel Macron.

France, in particular, has long hyped its support of the EU’s so-called feminist foreign policy, described as “a framework that focuses on adopting a gendered perspective in dealing with a state’s external action and diplomacy.” Does that mean when you’re walking by a guy unzipping his ballistic weapon and forcing it on a weaker nation – the exact same guy who keeps threatening to grab you by the assets – you stand there cheering him on while telling the victim that they asked for it?

“France, Germany, and the United Kingdom have consistently urged the Iranian regime to end Iran’s nuclear program, curb its ballistic missile program, refrain from its destabilizing activity in the region and our homelands, and to cease the appalling violence and repression against its own people,” these countries said in a joint statement. “We condemn Iranian attacks on countries in the region in the strongest terms. Iran must refrain from indiscriminate military strikes.”

That’s quaint. Europeans pretending that Trump and Netanyahu bombing Iran isn’t about doing the bidding of Trump’s personal and political Israeli benefactors. No, instead they say that it’s all about the Iranian nuclear program that Trump said he had bombed into oblivion not even a year ago, and destabilizing activities around the world, and law enforcement crackdowns at home.

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So what does the EU do? Support the American regime that’s arguably more synonymous with all those things combined than any other country right now. To the point that the EU is ramping up its own defense spending, not because it’s Iran that’s talking about invading Europe – but Trump with his Greenland obsession, citing national security, just like he did in bombing Iran. And Venezuela. And they’re like, 'Iran didn’t dial down its missile production!' Weapons and nukes are the new short skirts that invite violations of autonomy at will. How feminist!

Well, did it ever occur to the Eurojokers that Trump literally just proved their point on that, by unilaterally bombing Tehran in the middle of negotiations? 'Come to the table so we can get the GPS targeting dialed in.'

And talking about “indiscriminate strikes,” has anyone on Team Trump world police offered an explanation for the bombing of those Iranian school kids yet?

The Trump-Bibi rape of Iran is still in progress, and Queen Ursula (aka unelected European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen) is already talking about the need to transition Iran to a fellow American vassal state – whoops, I mean “democracy.” Like she figures that a newly assassinated 87-year-old Ayatollah was the only possible thing standing in the way of 90 million people who were just sitting around waiting for that one dude to shuffle off so they can finally go twerk in the streets like the Universal Declaration of Human Rights intended.

She’s totally bought into – or pretending to have – the American propaganda that this decapitation strike means regime change, as though they’re even remotely close to the same thing.

Like, okay, party’s over! Time for democracy, guys! And the EU will play a role, she says, in shaping Iran. All the multiple layers of IRGC guys lined up in the various chains of succession can just go sign up for some EU-run civil society courses. How about mastering nation-building on your own nations first, before giving it a go in Iran?

The EU is acting like they’re ready to spring into action on some plan, despite Trump himself just admitting to ABC News that he ended up killing all the candidates that he had in mind to puppeteer Iran for him. “It’s not going to be anybody that we were thinking of because they are all dead. Second- or third-place is dead,” Trump said.

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Why would Iran even listen to anything the Europeans say right now, let alone allow them to waltz in and muck around, when their reaction to Trump unilaterally pulling out of the agreement that they all signed under former US President Barack Obama to manage Iran’s nuclear program in exchange for sanctions relief resulted not in sanctions against the US for ditching the deal, but on Tehran?

Seems the EU brass has long been incapable of pinning any responsibility where it actually belongs. Maybe because they’re just one giant hive mind of Temu-tier telepathy constantly bleating in synchronized stereo about “destabilization,” not through Trump’s joint strikes with Israel, but through Iran’s insistence on merely existing on its own terms and daring to defend itself from those opposed to that notion.

But hey, at least there are still some folks who can think for themselves in Europe and are demanding sanctions against the US and Israel. Just kidding. They’re only upset that nobody asked their permission first.

“The US is currently operating outside traditional international law. Usually, justification for these types of attacks has been sought – either from the UN or at least from allies. Now, it has not been requested. It was not requested regarding Venezuela, it was not requested neither before the 12-day war, nor in this latest case,” said Finnish President Alexander Stubb.

And what’s EU buddy and Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney thinking when giving Trump a thumbs up on attacking Iran for “security,” even as Trump repeatedly threatens to annex Canada as its 51st state under the same pretext? Canada’s own top military brass has been talking recently about getting nukes to protect itself from the US, yet Carney apparently can’t see the parallels here. Even as Canada flips through the miniskirt catalogue.

Well, maybe Trump will take all this advice aboard from his friends and allies and ask their permission before invading Greenland or Canada. Then, in the interest of coherence, they can issue joint statements congratulating themselves on their liberation by Washington, and then call for a smooth transfer of whatever’s even left of their own sovereignty. Then proceed barefoot to the kitchen and make Uncle Sam a sandwich.