This Annoying Phone Habit Is 'Both Rude And Dangerous' – And You Might Be Doing It

It’s an all too common ― but incredibly annoying ― experience. You’re sitting in a coffee shop, waiting room, airport terminal or other public place, and someone nearby starts talking on the phone, using speakerphone.

Whether you want to or not, you can hear every detail, from the weekend plans to the workplace gossip to the doctor’s appointment recap. And according to etiquette experts, this behaviour is not just annoying ― it’s quite rude too. 

“You’re forcing those around you to participate in your private conversation,” said Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and host of the Were You Raised by Wolves? podcast.

Unlike a traditional phone call, where only one side of the dialogue is audible, talking on speakerphone in public broadcasts everything into a shared space. 

“This is both rude and dangerous,” said Jodi R.R. Smith, the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. “First, is it rude to those forced others to endure your own personal version of performance art. Second, callers should only be put on speakerphone after granting permission. Not all callers realise that their conversation is public and may have details they do not want the entire world to know.”

The person on the other end may assume they’re having a private exchange and broadcast personal information about you to the ears of strangers. Someone with bad intentions could hear sensitive financial or medical information. 

That lack of consent is also a key issue, as the person didn’t necessarily want random people in line at the pharmacy to overhear their conversation. 

“It’s also not polite to the person on the other end who may not realise they’re on speakerphone and strangers are listening in,” Leighton added.

Discretion is a key factor as well. Speakerphone calls tend to be louder, with exaggerated vocal tones that amplify the disruption.

“Speakerphone etiquette dictates that you use it only in a public space,” said Diane Gottsman, the author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. “You’re sharing information that may be confidential. The other person may not know they are on speakerphone and it interrupts and disrupts the people around.”

“Basically, confined spaces and loud noise and exaggerated gestures are not a good combination for other people’s comfort level,” she added.

But whether you’re on a small, crowded bus or in a big terminal, you should be mindful of voice volume and disturbance.

“When others are around, any conversation ― including those on speakerphone ― should be kept to a minimum,” Smith said. “We need to be conscious and respectful to those around us.”

She acknowledged that there can be exceptions ― moments when using speakerphone might be briefly necessary. 

“You forgot your earbuds and need to type a note into your cell phone as the caller is explaining something to you,” Smith said. “For a moment or two, yes, it is fine to have a quick conversation on speaker. But not a prolonged conversation.”

There are also accessibility considerations.

“It used to be the case that a cell phone directly on the ear of someone wearing a hearing aid caused the listener great discomfort,” Smith said. “Thankfully, hearing aids have made great strides and those with Bluetooth allow the wearer to actually answer the phone directly into the hearing aid. But this is a point of privilege, and not everyone has or can afford these.”

Gottsman emphasised that emergencies and accessibility needs deserve grace.

“Those who have accessibility issues can use captions, and if they must use the phone on speaker, I believe we should give an exception if it’s an emergency period,” she said. “If it’s just to call a friend, the same rules of courtesy would apply.”

In general, it’s probably best to pretend that speakerphone isn’t an option when you’re out in public. 

“Holding the phone up to your ear or using earphones is good,” Leighton said. “If you need to take a call and need to use speakerphone, it’s kind to step away from other people if at all possible and keep your voice low.”

And if stepping away isn’t feasible? Keep it short.

“If you need to have a longer conversation or when you are using speakerphone, either schedule a time to call them back or find a quiet corner where you will not be distracting or disturbing others,” Smith said.

Ultimately, this isn’t about rigid rules ― it’s about recognising that shared spaces require shared courtesy.

“Etiquette understands that perfection is not always possible,” Leighton said. “But the key is that you at least try.”