Tales from the Coffeeshop: When everyone is shocked by what everyone expected

THE OUTCRY that followed the acquittal of former president of the House, Demetris Syllouris, and ex-deputy of Akel, Christakis Giovanis, came as a bit of a surprise, as this was widely expected, not just by cynics but also members of the legal profession.

The biggest surprise, however, was the angry reaction of the Legal Service, which arranged a news conference, shortly after the three-member court announced its decision, to say that it would be filing an appeal because “judicial errors have been identified.”

At the news conference a rather emotional prosecutor by the name of Polina Efthyvoulou tried to answer the mob of critics, which included politicians, hacks, lawyers and experts of social media. She could not accept the attempts to undermine public prosecutors, she said. “We cannot remain silent in the face of efforts to dismantle the criminal justice system.

I did not expect the prosecutors to take the decision so personally, considering they have proved quite adept at losing cases, over the years, but it is reassuring to see that professional pride has not completely died in the public service.

THE ACCUSATION that must have hurt the Legal Service the most was that the case was rigged and that the Legal Service had gone out of its way to lose, because members of our political elite could not possibly have been found guilty of corruption.

This theory was not advanced exclusively by crackpots of the digital world, but by self-righteous columnists and enlightened politicians, which is probably why it could not have been ignored by the AG’s office and a decision for an appeal was taken within hours, before the prosecutors had time to carefully read the 170-page court decision.

Even superstar celebrity lawyer Achilleas Emilianides, who has become the go-to lawyer of the media for a legal opinion on every type of case, was critical of the prosecution for its failure to provide adequate testimony to prove the charges it had brought. Neither of the two prosecution witnesses were prepared to appear in court.

Then again why did anyone have high expectations of the Legal Service? These were the same prosecutors, under a different AG, who failed to get a single conviction for the banking scandal of 2013. And they had brought experts from abroad to help them as well.

AFTER MUCH prevarication, the Prez finally decided that Kyproulla would be represented at President Trump’s Board of Peace jamboree in Washington. He sent Foreign Minister Constantinos Kombos, who submitted a document with four proposals.

These included: humanitarian help via the Amalthea corridor, recovery and restoration of critical infrastructure and reconstruction, provision of security training in cooperation with relevant EU missions and operational support of the international stabilisation force.

Why does the government bother with these proposals that are guaranteed to end up in a rubbish bin, without anyone even reading them? This is part of the performative diplomacy – one of the many performative arts Prez Nik specialises in – and is exclusively targeted at a domestic audience whom he wants to impress.

It is a smart way of showing that Kyproulla is part of the solution and not part of the problem, as he loves to say, with the possible exception of the Cyprob.

SPEAKING of the dear old Cyprob, everyone turned on poor old Maria Angela Holguin because she had the nerve to write, in an article published last Sunday, that any moves should wait until after parliamentary elections and the completion of Kyproulla’s presidency of the EU council in July.

The attack was led by the Prez himself, who accused her of talking nonsense, as he was ready to engage in talks immediately. Negotiator Menelaos Menelaou also went on the offensive and they were followed by the Phednews columnists who seized the opportunity to remind us that Holguin was blatantly on the side of the Turkish Cypriots.

It goes without saying that if she had pushed the two leaders to engage in some process now, rather than wait till July, she would have been accused of turning the screw on us and of trying to impose suffocating timeframes. We are always right and the UNSG’s envoy is always a shamelessly pro-Turkish diplomat.

YOU HAVE to feel some sympathy for the former Disy leader Averof, who is still entertaining hopes that Prezniktwo is interested in pursuing a settlement. You would not expect a wily and pragmatic politician like Averof to buy the Prez’s theatrical interest in a settlement.

On Friday, on his return to Kyproulla after a trip to the US and Greece, Averof sent a letter to the Prez asking him for a meeting in order to pass on the information he had gathered about the Cyprob from his contacts, “given the critical phase the UN initiative for our national problem has entered.”

I will give Averof my worthless opinion about the Prez and the Cyprob. From the day he was elected, his priority has been his re-election. With the support of parties whose total share of the vote, according to opinion polls, will not exceed 10 per cent, he needs the backing of another party to make it into the second round of voting.

The only party he could rely on to get enough votes to go into the second Sunday run-off is Elam, the third strongest according to all polls. There is not a chance in a million this guy will risk his re-election chances by engaging in any kind of talks that would piss off Elam.

THIS is why he publicly attacked Holguin for her suggestion. Why does it matter if we have to wait five months before the process begins? Why is he in such a hurry? Will we miss the opportunity for a settlement that does not exist? Why now, considering the two leaders cannot even agree on opening a few more crossings?

Because he feels that this is best opportunity for him to fight and win the blame-game. This is the victory he is after, certain that it will endear him to the fascists of Elam and boost his re-election prospects.  As for the Cyprob, even if he got his way and a new process started next week, he would make sure that Turkish intransigence caused its collapse.

COMMENDABLY, our Prez has not given up his plan to use our presidency of the EU council to redesign the geography of the world at the centre of which will be Kyproulla.

Before taking over the presidency, he repeatedly claimed he would bring the EU to the Middle East. Then, on his visit to the Gulf States, he said he would bring these states closer to the EU.

On Saturday, during a visit of a delegation of US senators to the presidential palace, we heard of another geographical presidential inititiative. He told the senators, according to Tass News agency, about “the importance of the Cypriot presidency of the Council of the EU noting that one of its basic priorities is to bring the US and the EU closer together.”

SENATOR Jerry Moran, speaking on behalf of the delegation, praised the role of the Prez in the strengthening of bilateral relations and “the importance of Cyprus as an ally and friend for the national security and economy of the US.” 

The punchline was left till last. “We are fortunate that you are the president of the Republic at this time but perhaps at all times,” said Moran. It is not just the Yanks who are fortunate that we have such a Prez. His people are even luckier than the Yanks.

VERY DISAPPOINTED that the dishonest, corrupt, violent actions of deposed Paphos mayor Phed Phed, which are being serialised by the Phednews website, failed to feature as the main story on Saturday. It was the first time in a couple of weeks that Phednews’ Phed correspondent, Fanis Makrides, was unable to provide a new story proving that Phed was the nastiest and most satanic politician in Kyproulla. We want more bad news about Phed.