Ask A Therapist: How Can I Heal From Childhood Trauma As An Adult?

Childhood trauma can have profound and lasting effects on our well-being. 

Speaking to HuffPost UK, BACP-accredited integrative counsellor Nikki Howes said, “Research shows that when adversity occurs during childhood, it can shape the development of emotional regulation and threat-detection systems, leading to stress responses in adulthood that feel automatic and difficult to control”. 

Other studies suggest that childhood trauma can keep people in a state of chronic stress, years after the direct threat from their youth has gone away.

BACP-accredited counsellor and author of Become The Parent You Needed, LJ Jones, added: “When difficult experiences happen early... the body and mind adapt in ways that once helped us survive; but those same patterns can later limit how safe, connected, or confident we feel as adults, and impair our mental wellness”. 

Studies on adverse childhood experience (ACE) scores suggest that a childhood high in traumatic events could affect your mental and even physical health in adulthood.

But, Howes said, “I think ACE scores have often been communicated in ways that unintentionally make trauma feel inescapable.” 

Here, the experts shared how to begin healing from childhood trauma, at any age.

Is it possible to heal from childhood trauma as an adult? 

Although both experts noted that childhood trauma has a real impact on people’s adult lives, they also agreed that healing is possible at any age.

“Healing from childhood trauma as an adult is possible at any age because the brain and body can still learn new ways to regulate and process experiences,” Howes told us. 

And, Jones said, though there is “no timeline to healing”, and while healing from trauma isn’t “linear”, “Healing from childhood trauma is possible at any age because the nervous system remains changeable throughout our lives.

“Childhood trauma can feel like a life sentence because it shapes how our nervous system learns to respond to the world... [but] high ACE scores don’t mean someone is broken or doomed.”

Though different events and experiences can trigger old wounds, she added, “the key is to have enough tools to know how to take care of ourselves”. 

How can I begin to heal from childhood trauma as an adult? 

“Healing isn’t about erasing the past,” Jones said, “but about owning our unique stories and helping people understand that their responses make sense and that new ways of relating to themselves and others are possible at any stage of life”.

Howes agreed.

“Trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, brainspotting, somatic therapy, and relational work help process distressing memories and build internal resources, but the trauma itself isn’t erased – we live with it differently, so it no longer drives automatic reactions and allows safety, choice, and resilience in the present.” 

Jones shared that self-awareness can be a great start. Noticing “unhealthy patterns or self-sabotaging behaviours” can be a good clue as to how trauma might be showing up in our lives: “gently building new experiences of safety, regulation, and connection” can help, she said. 

The pair also recommended therapy. 

This can “offer a space where people feel seen and understood without judgement, sometimes for the first time,” Jones said.

“Through this process, individuals often recognise blind spots, learn to regulate overwhelming emotions, develop self-compassion, and rewrite deeply held beliefs formed in childhood, such as ‘I’m not enough’ or ‘I’m not safe.’”

The counsellor added that support, compassion, and care are key. And she highlighted “self-acceptance and empowerment within this process as they are often crucial elements which are stripped from those who suffered childhood adversities.

“Working on individual growth and celebrating small wins can help to eliminate feeling stagnant and tired of the ramifications of childhood trauma.”

Help and support:

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.