“I gotta log off”: The White House declares “war on protein” on its social media accounts as international tensions rise
The White House account on X just announced that they're ending a "war on protein" that nobody knew existed. As another "Make America Healthy Again" initiative, the account linked to the new upside-down food pyramid that seems to prioritize beef and cheese over whole grains.
The jokes are as delicious and satisfying as a juicy steak, without the cholesterol.
The war on what now?
On Sunday, the White House put out an unexpected statement on X. Over Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s shadowy face, the image declared that the war is over. Bet you didn't even know about this one.
"We are ending the war on protein," it declares.
Between that and the MAHA, the post linked to realfood.gov, where you can scroll down to view the Trump administration's new inverted food pyramid.
"Every meal must prioritize high-quality, nutrient-dense protein from both animal and plant sources, paired with healthy fats from whole foods such as eggs, seafood, meats, full-fat dairy, nuts, seeds, olives, and avocados," the website reads.
It goes on to recommend 1.2–1.6 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight per day.
This is a departure from long-standing dietary guidelines that recommend people eat more whole grains, fruits, and vegetables than meat and dairy. Flipping the pyramid is bizarre enough that South Park did it in 2014.
The food pyramid reveal happened first and already did the mockery rounds on X. Now it's time to tackle the declaration of the end of a war nobody ever started.
"WTF are you talking about"
The "war on protein" took most by surprise, seeing as nobody can remember a single time anyone badmouthed the nutrient. Doctors have long warned against eating too much red meat due to health risks, but it was never the protein that was the problem.
"Literally all anyone has talked to me about for the last decade is protein," @staysaasy commented. "If there’s been a war on protein it’s been fought by ghosts."
Popular TikToker @AshleyDCan asked, "Who started a war on protein lol," adding, "Why are y'all so obsessed with starting conflict over nothing?"
The even more well-known journalist David Leavitt simply queried, "wtf are you talking about?"
Some were so flabbergasted by the White House post that they might even touch grass.
"I gotta log off," said @mewnii.
It's not just the strange declaration that got to folks. The decision to photograph RFK Jr. in the dark also prompted questions.
"Why are these f*ckers obsessed with making themselves look as evil as possible in every photo," wrote @saltydkdan.
Meanwhile, Cyanide & Happiness co-creator Rob DenBleyker didn't miss the opportunity to crack the joke—"we already knew Trump was pro-teen."
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