Dear Abby: Grandma makes us clean up after ourselves

After our visits, I usually leave feeling defeated. When we return home, she gushes about our visit for months, saying how “lonely” she is now that we’re gone and how much she enjoyed our visit. [...] it’s not unheard of for a hostess to leave a note asking that the shower be wiped down, or that the sheets and towels be laundered before a guest leaves — particularly if the guests are family members. A gracious guest wouldn’t mind doing those things, and would ask how her hostess wanted it handled before she left. If these visits cause financial hardship, visit your grandmother every other year, or consider inviting her to visit you, but don’t cut her off completely. [...] calling on my landline makes me worry that person has access to my physical address. [...] being asked by some stranger for information like my age, the number of people in my household and whether I have guns in the house, etc. makes me feel very vulnerable. [...] while I’m doing it, I am also advising readers that they are under no obligation to respond to surveys of any type, and that all they have to do if they receive this kind of call is say “Not interested,” and hang up.