Why Do the Kardashians’ Pets Keep Mysteriously Disappearing?
Kim Kardashian West is many things—a reality-TV icon, multimillionaire entrepreneur, prison reform activist, aspiring lawyer—but animal lover is nowhere on the list. A recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians showed the mother of four dealing with the inconvenience of the death of her daughter North’s beloved hamster. The hamster, complete with a pink castle cage, was a gift from Aunt Khloé, who’d failed to impress her niece with the special day of limousine rides and ice cream she planned. The only thing that would make North happy was a tiny rodent, much to her mother’s chagrin.
Disaster soon struck when one of Kim’s assistants delivered the grim news that the hamster, named Blacktail, hadn’t moved in a while. “It’s, like, stiff,” the assistant said monotonously, urging his boss to check on Blacktail. With the swish of a sleek black ponytail, Kim stood up from the kitchen table, sighing, “I don’t have time for a dead hamster.” She spent the rest of the episode fluctuating between anger toward her sister for getting North a pet without permission and emotional distress over how to teach her daughter about the circle of life.
Kim decided instead to take the classic lie-to-your-children-to-protect-them route and find an identical replacement. North’s pet was a fancy bear hamster (which I learned today is the actual name of a hamster breed and not something made up by a child), dubbed the “unicorn of hamsters” by Khloé because of its rare pedigree. They found a match, successfully hoodwinked a six-year-old, and learned they’ve been spelling “hamster” wrong their whole lives. (Hint: there is no ‘p’.)